Hi friends! I used to have reddit and deleted it a while ago but now I'm here again as I have weighed myself (after about 5 months) and weighed in at a whopping 197.4 lbs. For context, I just turned 18. The pandemic was actually kind to me in the beginning (quarantine wise). I began eating healthy, biking a lot, working out a ton, and my mental health was the best it had ever been. Junior year was terrible so having a break from the academic stress, bullying, and toxic friend group I was in was amazing.
However, in the middle of my journey (I had just lost 12 pounds), something traumatic happened and I just stopped. I began binge eating which was something I worked so hard to cure myself of. I was terrible to myself mentally and physically. I became a terrible friend, sister, and daughter. Essentially, I just became a person I didn't like to look at in the mirror.
The one thing that didn't change was my academic drive. I got a full ride to a really good school (8% acc rate say whaatttt) super far away and graduated with honors as top 10% of my class. The caveat to that, though, is that whatever superficial numbers I have tied to me are a product of my stress and withering mental health. I'm super scared of moving so far away in which I'll be isolated with my already declining mental health. I'm terrified of the potential health complications I might incur the way I'm headed as well as suffering with severe depression and anxiety (which is something I've been dealing with for my entire life).
I don't want to bully myself for how I ended up. My body is a reflection of my trauma, my success, my ambition, my love, my hate, my drive, and most importantly: my choices. It is just a body. However, if I want to grow, I need to lose weight. I'm sick of getting winded walking from my car to school meetings. I'm sick of feeling lethargic. I'm sick of declining invitations to outdoor events because I wan't to hide the way I look.
It is just a body but it is mine. And I will start treating it like the temple it is.
That being said, any advice/words of wisdom/comments would be greatly appreciated. I want to be a better person heading to college.
I am so proud of you all and am looking forward to hearing your words :-)
P.S.: An accountability partner would be great too ;-)
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nmn05j/18_f_need_to_restart_my_life_before_heading_to/
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