273lbs 6 years ago, 203lbs now
My weight has bounced around my whole life. I've always been heavier, but as of late I've done really well to get it in check. At my largest point in life I was 273lbs. Around Thanksgiving of 2020 I was 245lbs as a 5'9" male, and I'm currently at 203lbs. I was 203lbs 2 months ago.
The more I've lost, the more relaxed I've gotten on my dieting, which has prevented me from reaching my goals of 190lbs and then eventually more. I want to snack, not usually out of hunger, but out of boredom. Out of loneliness. Out of whatever other reason. I've been maintaining time in therapy. I've been trying to maintain healthy relationships with friends and family. I've picked up new hobbies like rock climbing and trail running (both with my sister). However, since I've been doing that, I haven't been maintaining my pushup and pullup goals every day. I haven't done my yoga. I run but not as often as I should.
The real issue though is my unhealthy relationship with food. I can't keep individual wrapped snacks in the house. I just grab them and eat them. I have no willpower. Granola bars just get inhaled constantly. Bowls of cereal are too easy, so I have them too. Handfuls of craisins out of the bag. It's become a real problem, and I know its the biggest thing from stopping me from reaching my next tier of goals... getting under 200lbs for the first time since I was 19. Getting down to 190lbs which gives me the flexibility to go on a vacation or have that meal I really want and not have to worry about crossing back into the 200+ range again.
The other thing I've noticed is how I treat the scale when portioning food. When I'm putting my baked lays in a ziploc bag to take a portion with me to work, I always make sure I'm at the weight. If I put the chips in and weigh the bag and its 2-3g under, i'll put in another chip or two. If I'm 2-3g over, I'll just let it slide and say close enough. It doesn't seem like much. 2-3g of potato chips 3-4 days a week adds up to just 70 calories a week. It's not the end of the road. But it highlights my issue with food. Close enough only applies when I'm over my amount. It never applies when I'm under my amount. I portioned my chips today and it was 29g, so I put another chip in to get to 31g. Why not just leave it at 29g? Why do I need to squeak out that last chip? It makes no difference in my stomach feel when I'm eating my lunch, but mentally I feel like I'm being cheated.
Not sure if any of this is coherent but I'm just trying to get my head back in the game and make a push to get myself below 200lbs. Motivation isn't coming to me easily, and I'm noticing more things about how I handle my situation that I dislike than I do like. I don't want to rat myself out and prevent myself from reaching goals.
Any ideas on how to improve my perspective?
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/n8vnhm/i_have_an_unhealthy_relationship_with_food_and/
No comments:
Post a Comment