I have an unhealthy, completely off the rails relationship with food. I get anxiety from not eating for long and I overeat constantly, to the point that I feel awful after. The worst thing is that its the last pleasure in life I have, everything else is tainted with bad memories and experiences. Its also my go-to coping mechanism and the levels of stress I experience on a daily/weekly basis have pretty much skyrocketed into stratosphere, long before COVID actually. I live in a state of constant fear and anxiety and am obviously mentally fucked up.
I'm working on getting rid of those stressors, but it will take time and one big source stress is actually self-perpetuating - weight gain and loss of mobility. I was never a thin person in my life, I did reach normal BMI, but was still packing quite a bit of extra weight even at that time. Right now I'm not yet at the absolute whale level, but my health is truly awful even at that - I'm 6'1 and 255-257 lbs. Even sleeping hurts.
There are technical solutions to this problem, I do have access to exercise equipment (at home) and can start eating healthy, but its all shit because my thinking is completely wrong. I still see food as source of pleasure and stress relief, rather than pure fuel and generally means to an end. Just like I used to see alcohol, in the end what helped me stop drinking (~5 months ago) was the realization that nothing is changing in my life and its unlikely that I'll even kill myself with drinking - only cripple and make shit a lot worse.
The problem: I need to change my thinking, but I don't have sources of inspiration. I would like to ask if any of you out here, had read any books (preferably something available in audio) that provided that or generally changed thinking, success stories etc. Maybe even better if its about autistic and or people who also dealt with ADHD, depression, anxiety, victims of mental abuse etc.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/n8w7dy/how_to_deal_with_food_addiction/
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