I'm a lurker. For reasons you'll come to understand I haven't felt it appropriate to join in discussions - and I'm good with lurking. I appreciate this community for motivation, inspiration, and ideas to adapt to my situation. Today I've hit my limit and am hoping this is an appropriate place to vent.
A decade+ ago I was at my lowest weight, after losing rapidly due to illness (severe gastroparesis) and slowly regaining to a healthy level. I maintained that weight for years - bordering on healthy / overweight, but my doctors were happy.
Almost 5 years ago I was injured, leading to a permanent physical impairment. I slowly gained 5-10kg and found myself back in overweight territory. Focused on staying as healthy and mobile as I could and maintained that weight until...
Just over a year ago I ended up with The Virus^TM. Because that wasn't enough I ended up as a long hauler. Gained another 10-15kg, despite not eating more (type of food likely contributed as "frozen crap" was a frequent dinner option because I felt too sick to cook).
Around month 11 I began to improve. In the last 10-12 weeks I've lost 10kg.
I'm still definitely overweight, I expect to continue losing at least another 5kg (hopefully more) as my health improves. That said, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself this morning when I realized I'd hit 10kg down.
Had a specialist appointment this afternoon where it was going well until my doctor got preoccupied with my current weight (wholly unrelated to the reason of the appointment) and kept bringing up numbers, comparing my pre-injury/current weight and stressing how many issues being overweight can cause and (just on and on and on). I don't think they believed me when I said I'd lost the 10kg. That was until I showed them how loose my pants are and their eyes just about popped out of their head and the subject was immediately dropped. I don't think they meant to make such a thing out of it but I felt so awful when I left the office.
Do I still need to lose weight? Yes. Do I need to feel like a monster for something that has been out of my control (specifically the last year)? No, no I do not. As soon as I've been able to do something about it... I've been doing something about it!
I'm legally blind. I've had multiple hip and pelvis procedures because of the injury (with more in the future) and walk with a guide dog on one side and an elbow crutch on the other. I can't exercise, run or even walk normally. I have multiple autoimmune issues. I am STILL dealing with long haul symptoms. FFS I have (thankfully mild these days) gastroparesis and physically can't eat myself stupid. The weight will come off at a speed my body agrees to and as much as I'd like to click my fingers and be thin, healthy, not in constant pain, or fully sighted... I'm not a bloody magician.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ngw5r1/a_lurkers_rant/
No comments:
Post a Comment