I was thin as a kid/teenager, but I had fat parents that were constantly on diets. We never ate dinner together because of this, but they cooked real food, usually in large portions that we would feed ourselves from as we wanted (like a pot of stew or whatever). I wasnt home a lot, so I mostly ate a lot of snack food, cafeteria food, etc. When I was in college, I was too poor to afford more than 1 meal a day for the first couple of years, then a total stoner for the 3rd eating nothing but crap, and then struggled with an ED for the 4th year. 5th year I snapped and binged for 3 months and gained 60 lbs. I have spent the past 10 years trying to lose that 60 lbs on every single diet imaginable.
Well, Im tired of dieting. It hasnt worked in 10 years-- I managed to lose 15 lbs last year, but now for some reason I have gained all of it back. It sucks, and Im done. I dont mind being a bit fat. I can still go on long hikes, I can still run a mile. I cant get a date, but idk, maybe I have a horrible personality. My point is-- its fine. The one thing I dont like though is feeling like I eat differently than everyone else. I dont want to diet or count calories, but I want to eat like... normal. I want to eat like a normal person. If that makes me gain or lose weight I dont care, I just want to eat normally.
But like, after all this time.... I have no sense of reference for that! I dont even know what that looks like. Not even a clue. I have so much nutrition information stuffed into my brain I dont know how to make sense of it all. Do I eat breakfast? Do I not? Lots of protein? Plant based? Small portions-- how small? How I do control my hormones? How many times a week is eating something sweet excessive? Is an afternoon snack bad, or is it fine if its low calorie?
Like I just dont know. Its absolute chaos in my brain.
I know when I go out to eat with my thin friends I eat the same or less than them. I know when I eat lunch at work I eat slightly more than my thin coworkers. I know I skip breakfast when most people eat it, but I also know my afternoon snack (1 rice ball and 1 piece of fruit) is bigger than most of my coworkers (1 rice ball, no fruit).
But like this isnt enough. I wish I could just find someone with a similar genetic make-up to me, similar workout style, and similar working routine and just like... shadow them for a month or two. Just eat whatever they eat and learn. I want someone to tell me if it really is too much for me to get a donut as a treat, someone to tell me maybe we should skip the wine tonight and stay in, someone to tell me that even though Im not hungry right now, I should still eat a small breakfast so I dont overeat later, or someone to tell me that its fine to have some pizza because you only live once and pizza is good.
I want like... a mother, I guess is what Im saying lmao. I want parents, again, to reteach me how to be a proper person. I dont want diet books or apps to maximize my macros, I just want to like... relearn a new normal.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ph1g5d/i_just_want_to_know_how_normal_people_eat/
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