Hello all,
As the title indicates, I am restarting my weight loss journey Monday 5/3. I know you can start any time. But after a series of starting, stopping, eating bad, not going to the gym when I should, I decided to hold myself accountable this time. One of the things I could think of was make a post. I've been inspired by so many of you all who have crushed your goals and have changed your lives. It makes me absolutely inspired to try this all over again. So I thought I'd post and see if anyone sees this or leaves a comment. I've always wanted to do the before/after picture thing but I've always felt embarrassed.
I managed to lose +/-35 lbs in 2018. I was doing so well. I was proud of myself. I started to feel so confident. People recognized it. But most importantly I just felt so proud of myself. I was so sad to leave 2018 and my progress behind. I plateaued for about 3 months, before Thanksgiving and the holidays and I just couldn't keep it off. I started at 208 lbs and got down to 170 lbs. No matter what I did, I just couldn't crack into the 60s. But I'm willing to try again.
I'm 5'7", 208lbs, male, 32 years old.
I just hope it clicks in me, that as I write this post, and maybe see feedback, that I'm serious this time. That my goal is still unfinished. I'm tired of beating myself up about gaining back every single pound I tried so hard to lose. I'm tired of disliking my reflection again. I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable about how I look when I go out. I'm absolutely gutted that I can't fit into my clothes anymore. I'm actually welling up right now. I've been a "fat" kid all my life. I'm sorry to use that term, but when it's literally been your identifier, you just become numb to its usage. I was 12 years old shopping with my mom when I couldn't fit into regular clothes so the sales lady derisively said I needed to try the husky section. I can still remember that. I remember filling my plate with food at a church picnic and having people eye it down like I was being disgusting. Hell even my doctor said I needed to lose weight. I get it. I really do. I'm unhappy about how am I. But the fact that I actually made progress but let it get back to the way it was, as if my weight loss in 2018 never happened, pains me so much. Hell, I couldn't even keep the weight off enough for my sister's wedding last year with Covid and all. I've just been so disappointed. But like the post said I'm just so tired of feeling this way. Of regretting all my bad food choices as soon as it goes in my mouth and down my belly. I'm sick of knowing that I actually know and can do better, but don't do it. I don't know why I do this. But I just know if I don't snap out of it and do something, nothing will ever change. I'll just watch my life pass by and all the things I want to do, I won't do it because of how I feel. Because of the limitations I put on myself. I know at my height and weight it may not seem like a lot, but when its calculated in a BMI calculator, I'm obese. I'm a statistic. I'm not knocking on anyone else, I just needed a place to vent. I want to do better. I want a change. My body doesn't feel great and I'm starting to have issues again. I don't want to feel like I'm close to a medical emergency anymore. I just don't want to lie in bed and have trouble breathing. I don't want to wonder if my heart is okay.
Anyways, I'm sorry for the long rant. I guess I just needed to let all this out in frustration. I don't know why I'm overweight. I understand the calories and unhealthy eating, and little exercise. I just don't know why I'm just prone to being overweight. But regardless, I'm just so ready to get back to my goals.
I hope all of you are doing well. And to those that are keeping up with your goals, I am amazed by you! Everyday. For those of you that are starting, you are my inspiration. I hope that I can just do what I need to get back on track. And I hope everyone accomplishes their goals!
Cheers!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/n3n598/restarting_my_weight_loss_journeyrant/
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