M/29/5’8” sw:235 cw:206 gw:165
a few years ago i was really healthy. i went skateboarding everyday, worked out 5x/week, ate right and weighed 160. i went through a really serious depressive episode, had 2 kids, lost a dog, and moved all over a period of 2 years and gained 70 POUNDS. like damn man, i didn’t look like myself (still don’t) or feel like myself. fast forward, i recently addressed my mental health and started getting better and feeling like my old self. i started skating and working out again, ate healthy and lost 30lbs in like 2 1/2 months. even tho i am so hyped on my progress, when i’m out in public or especially at the skatepark i feel like embarrassed. i can tell that people are like “damn, big boy can rip” (i still got it) and i’m the biggest dude there. it’s strange to see a big guy skate and even stranger when they can skate well. although i feel good or at least better about myself, as soon as i remember that i look the way i do now i am like ashamed and embarrassed and it takes the fun out of whatever i am doing. i’m going to keep going and try to enjoy my journey but damn sometimes this shit is hard to get through mentally. i just get fuckin sad and disappointed. i don’t struggle as much as some people do but everything is relative and if i had to guess the feelings are the same.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nizh8l/ashamed/
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