After many years of disordered eating I got myself some therapy a few years ago and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. After a year of therapy I decided I'd had enough and found this sub and did amazingly well. Over about a year and a half I lost almost 9st (approx 57kg or 125 pounds). I was over the moon. I actually genuinely at the age of 40 thought that obesity was just a part of me and it would never come off. I hit such a low that I would try anything so I cut out sugar (cold turkey, nothing with more than 5% sugar like tomato sauces etc) and started counting calories.
After I lost all the weight I lost focus. I was distracted by exciting things in life and thought I could probably manage eating the occasional piece of cake at a birthday party. That was how it really started. Then I decided to test myself to see if I could manage without counting every calorie. To begin with I was okay. I put on a little bit of weight but not fast and I was comfortable. I was having the time.of my life.
As you can imagine, over the following couple of years this spiralled and now I have put back on half of what I lost. What has been most shocking is the speed with which it has returned, the first year wasn't so bad but the second has been shocking. I've known for a while that I need to do something but I've always had excuses. I started a new and stressful job 6 months ago and it's only recently started to calm down.
So I've been on quarantine for the last couple of weeks and I've had time to think. I will be on quarantine for some.weeks or possibly months to come. This is my chance. This is MY CHANCE. With all the terrible things happening, I actually have a golden opportunity.
I have now done 4 full days of counting every calorie and not eating sugar. I won't say it's been easy, it really hasn't, but what is my other option? I'm a teacher and it's likely I won't return to school until September. I will either return significantly heavier or significantly lighter. It's entirely within my control.
I spend the school year stressed and looking forward to doing nothing in the holidays to recover. I now get to do a lot more nothing (still some work but not much) and I realised that doesn't make me happy. The time I've been happiest in my life is when I had lost the weight and had a ton of energy. I wondered if I am really that shallow that my weight is a foundational point of my happiness? Turns out, yes. Yes I am that shallow. I just have to own it and be okay with it.
So anyway, if you got this far, thank you for reading. I'm back and watch this space, I'll be losing along with you.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/fupt6l/up_down_up_and_down_again/
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