I'm writing this post mostly to get it off my chest, perhaps someone has been there before and can help. Ever since I was a baby til I turned 22 I was severely obese to the point where I hit 242 +pounds. No diet ever worked for me and if it did, results lasted a couple of months before I went back into the same old binging pattern and regained all the weight back plus more. 2 years and a half ago after hitting a dead point in my life where I felt miserable, I woke up and decided to change. No magic Potion there, I just woke up, decided it was time to ACTUALLY look after myself and here I am now 95 pounds lighter (still 10 to lose). Because of my insecurities, my looks and the way I carried myself in public I was always rejected and I developed a severely toxic idea of love, boys, romance and sex also due to the fact that I grew up suspecting my parents were not getting along and my dad was cheating on my mom, didn't have a proof but I felt it in my gut. Long story short: now that I'm "skinny" I can't get enough of the attention, I always want more and more of it, even though I know it's unhealthy. I know people now approach me for my looks, I'm not okay with it, but the validation is like a drug. I want more of it and this is leading me to become scared of even gaining a pound and not look this good anymore. If I don't go walking one day I freak out because I don't wanna lose my physique. I can't tell why people approach me now and I'm slowly fearing to lose my identity, I don't recognize myself in the mirror and it made me lose balance. My body image is all I care about now, I don't study, I don't do anything else, I only think about what clothes to buy to look good etc. I feel so stupid because it's like I'm a dumb ass girl when I know I've been raised in a good family with values and I've always considered myself a smart girl with her feet on the ground and now I look in the mirror and I wonder "what are you doing with your life?". Please be kind, I needed to vent it all out.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mtx1l2/losing_95_pounds_gave_rise_to_an_unhealthy/
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