TW: Alcohol
I've been spiraling downwards for the past couple days (See: Family stress, burnout, loneliness) and like a well balanced adult, I was just making it through. Last night, I don't even remember what I was watching on my laptop, but I know I was drinking through some rum and doctor pepper, and I fell asleep at like 4pm.
I woke up this morning at 3am, saw the drink beside me and just started drinking that again. Didn't really feel like thinking too hard. I stayed in my bed scrolling on my phone for an hour or two until the sun started to rise.
I decided I should go on a walk to watch it. I mean I was awake anyways and I still didn't want to do my schoolwork.
So I got dressed and headed out to walk around for a bit. A few houses down from my own is some guy's random field with a hill at the back of it. The hill is covered with birch trees, and one of them had recently fell over, so I decided I was going to go see it.
As I was walking up the hill (It was steep) I was panting quite a bit and I had the thought "I would feel better right now if I had drank water this morning".
And so after seeing the tree had indeed fallen over, I walked home, and drank some water and felt better. The only way to live is to be healthy. It's not the grand gestures you do for yourself, it's every sip along the way.
I need to keep reminding myself that there's a way out and there's a way through. I'm trying to change my perspective. I'm not spiraling down anymore, I'm spiraling up. We all know that on the way down, good things still happen, but it doesn't make enough of a difference and the bottom crash is still approaching quickly. Not anymore, I'm spiraling up. Anything terrible that happens isn't enough to stop me.
It's not the 50lbs that I need to lose, it's more than just that. I've lost 15 before and I know how amazing I felt. The only way to live is to be healthy, I'm not just learning how to lose weight anymore, I'm learning how to be alive
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mj1wtm/i_realized_that_being_healthy_is_the_only_way_to/
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