So in the last seven years, I've gone from 45 kilos (underweight) to 85. I know I need to change, but every time I think about it I get completely overwhelmed, and it just seems impossible.
Warning: there is some serious whingeing incoming.
I started gaining weight at around the age of 20, after a) going on antidepressants and b) getting a driver's license/car. At first I was actually kind of happy, because I needed to gain weight, but. It just didn't stop. And now I am the Pillsbury Dough Man. As far as my mental health is concerned, the meds helped but I'm still pretty depressed and unmotivated even when it comes to the things I care about, so that basically doesn't help. On the other hand, I'm in a much better place than I used to be, and I think as far as my mental health is concerned it's not reasonable for me to focus solely on that with the assumption that improving my mental health will make it easier to fix my physical health. The motivation just isn't there, but it's not going to get there, and I need to just learn to manage without it.
The problem is that I feel like I would need to change basically everything about myself as a person in order to lose weight.
For one thing, I hate cooking. I work 8:30-5 and I'm exhausted when I come home in the afternoon and wake up in the morning. I know that's not actually that many hours, and I walk to work so my commute is really short (like 15-20 mins?) so I shouldn't have room to complain, but the thought of finding recipes, shopping, cooking and cleaning up is just exhausting. Especially since getting takeaway is so easy.
The second problem is that I kind of hate most healthy food. I don't like eggs, yoghurt or nuts, I don't like salad (although I do like most veggies in other contexts), I don't like spicy food, and I'm overall just a picky eater. I love bread and potatoes and cheese and pastries. I also don't really like eating the same leftovers for a week, which makes prepping meals to deal with the first problem harder.
Legitimately, sometimes I look at my cat eating his cat food and wish there was something like that for humans. Just nutritionally balanced pellets to make me stop being hungry and stop having to think about food and stop craving junk constantly.
Anyway, I have no self-control and I hate most healthy food, and hate having to think about what I eat even more.
Exercise is also problematic. I was bad at basically all sports as a kid, and got made fun of a lot for it. I've never really found sport or exercise to be fun - either it's humiliating or just kind of boring. I don't like sweating, or having to take time out of my day to hit balls or run around or pick up heavy things. Not to mention that exercise clothes are extra laundry.
I realise that all of this sounds incredibly selfish and whiny. I'm basically just being a toddler about this, throwing a tantrum because I have to do something I don't like. But the problem - the real problem - is that I actually don't have to do it at all. I am an adult with the freedom to sit around and eat myself into an early grave, and nobody can stop me. So I'm wondering if anyone else has managed to overcome this kind of laziness and lack of motivation. How did you do it? Where does that kind of mental strength come from? Is there a way to find what I'm missing here?
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mml6gu/i_need_to_lose_weight_but_just_thinking_about_it/
No comments:
Post a Comment