Hey Reddit!
I have written about this before on another account but now I am really feeling like I want to open up again.
I have been dieting since I was 14 and I am currently 29. I remember starting my first diet in the beginning of June 2006 when weighing 61kg (134lb). I was not overweight but that seemed a bit too much for a 14-year old girl, especially because I had gained about 6kg (13lb) during that school year due to being quite sad (I had trouble finding real friends) and then comfort eating.
Since then I have been going up and down with my weight and having had multiple different lifestyles, usually either extremely healthy or binge-focused. My weight had been fluctuating between 50 and 75 kg (110lb to 165lb) and right now I am at 70kg (154lb). With my height (171cm) it’s still a normal weight which I am astonished about, especially because I binge SO much. I have gained about 6kg since last autumn though but before it I lost some and prior to it I gained some and so forth. I am always either gaining or losing.
I am extremely tired of this yo-yoing. Constantly gaining or losing. The saddest part is that this affects my passions, running and exercising in general. I am also a bit too obsessed about exercise, it’s really the only thing I want to do aside from eating chocolate of course. I don’t have any other passions because almost half of my life I have been so focused on dieting and training. I was pursuing a career in sports and exercise related field but gave up that too partly because of being so ashamed of my weight going up and down all the time.
Right now I would want to lose about 10kg but my belief in myself is very low. Even if I lose the weight what would keep it from going up again? I am kind of having my life on hold because I am thinking that I’ll switch career when I am thin again and so on. Then I’ll go with exercise or find something I really like again. What I am doing now I... Well, don’t hate but don’t like either. Additionally I suck at it. :P
Well, I don’t know what kind of responses I am expecting. Maybe there is someone who has experienced the same or is in a similar situation? What have you done to stop bingeing and permanently lose weight?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mkgxit/15_years_of_yoyoing_and_feeling_like_a_failure/
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