Hi, I’m sorry about the post formatting, I’m on my phone.
I want to start with saying that reading everyone’s stories here for a long time has encouraged me to reach out and ask myself, and yes I made my account just to ask here! I’m 14(f), and I’m really passionate about MMA, I love learning about and watching UFC fights with my brother, and he even enrolled me in a class before so I have an outlet. My goal is to be the best at MMA as I can be. I always believed that I was “fat”, and was always very ashamed of my body. I was always thin according to my family, but I never saw this. I started having problems when eating normally since I was in kindergarten, would avoid eating for hours, throw away my lunch, many bad habits. Today, I still can’t eat in front of other people. When I was in middle school, I struggled with my weight at this time and was 79lb at 5 foot two. At the same height now, I’m about 118, it took forever to reach 100lbs but when I finally did, it wasn’t bad anymore. Now that I’m at 118, I’m really lost, what should I do? I think I’m ok, but now I’m realizing that I really want to become more muscular. All this time I thought I looked revolting, I avoid mirrors still to this day, but I have a really good friend that helped me with that. Well he’s more than a friend, but regardless, I try to not talk about it but he is very kind to me about my image, and is very careful about what he says. This friend helped me get from 90lb to where I am now, so recently when I mention my desire to become buff, he thinks it’s gross. I don’t know, I only gained weight because others told me I looked too thin, and now I’m uncertain. Also, I’m greatly afraid of when I try to gain muscle, what if I fail at that too? I’m ok now, but i could be better, I also don’t want to disappoint someone whom I owe a lot to. I just don’t want to be 35 and wishing I built better habits now. Maybe I’m just being 14 and weird. Any advice on my course of action?
Edit: corrected who to whom
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mugy9b/what_should_i_do_with_my_body/
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