Someone I know wants to do some visual art based on a historical figure and asked if she could use a picture of me as a model...from my 20s. I'm not upset with her, I get it, but a but of gut punch looking at 40 in less than 2 weeks and I have only lost so much of the weight I gained when I was pregnant and nursing my now 8 year old. Im trying to focus on the positive, I have done some really good emotional work lately. Like phenomenal, I have zero urge to binge eat and I didn't even realize I was struggling with a disorder. So now I can focus on losing the weight but its a slow go with 2 steps forward and one step back kind of thing. Im trying not to let it get to me but it really brought me down. Maybe the timing of the request. Im otherwise very happy in my life, my marriage is great, I have a wonderful kid, pretty successful but I still feel like such a failure because of my weight. It probably doesn't help the culture I come from really emphasizes a woman's beauty as her ultimate accomplishment. I guess they all do to some degree though. Im not sure why I wrote this, im trying to make sure I'm not being mean to myself. My emotional work taught me how terrible my inner narrative was, I was horrifically mean to myself. I will try to shake it off and go again towards these goals tomorrow and hope the thing about it being harder to lose weight at 40 is only so true.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mlv3b0/nothing_like_heading_towards_40_and_being_asked/
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