Posting this anonymously because I don’t want this getting traced back to me. I feel like I might it might not be received well if it’s found out that I posted about this but I don’t know where else to turn. Don’t have a therapist right now and friends are too close to the situation, don’t want it getting back to spouse that I’m needing advice.
5’7 F, CW: 190 SW: 140 GW: 155
I have been slowly gaining weight over the years. I was very healthy growing up. My family ate basically all non processed foods and subway was considered fast food, a big treat. Then I met my spouse. He came from a home that used lots of packaged and processed meals and treats (think sugary cereal and little debbies, and always available soda). His family has good metabolism for the most part and it doesn’t effect them. It does effect me though. I noticed the weight gain shortly after meeting him but made the excuse for myself that it was due to lack of exercise. Fast forward a decade, and I’ve gained 50 lbs. Mixing our eating styles has really hurt me. Where I used to have primarily a protein and produce for meals, we now have lots of highly processed carbohydrates. He also loves cookies and other pastries. He can eat these and still look and feel great. I cannot. I have birthed two beautiful babies and I know with age and motherhood comes weight gain, but it’s so uncomfortable carrying around this extra weight. I feel unhealthy. Migraine attacks are common and my sleep is super poor.
I’ve had success getting healthy again when he leaves, but when he comes back, I fall into the same routine of his eating. I asked if he could please mainly eat out when he’s at work (for lunch) and keep lots of treats at his office. I’m lactose intolerant so any treat he has at the house containing milk, I can’t eat anyways so that’s fine to keep around! It won’t be as tempting for me. He is very resistant to this and says it feels like he is being punished. I feel like I don’t have support in this. Every time I try to get healthy it’s always on my own. I know his food choices are up to him. But I just feel very alone in this, and currently hating myself. Has anyone else ever had any success in LONG TERM goal maintenance with a spouse who ate junk? I feel trapped. I also struggle with binge eating so triggering foods are hard for me. But I get that I can’t change his eating preferences. I just want to know if there’s hope for me.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mt6hn2/needing_help_but_getting_pushback_from_spouse/
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