I've been really struggling with something lately, and I guess I'm looking for advice, or even just an anonymous ear. I'm 26F, and have lost about 40 pounds over the past 2 years, getting down to 145. I was much bigger back in high school, but didn't ever weigh myself. After I got out of grad school, my life finally got stable enough that I felt ready to focus more on my health, and I'm happier and feeling better than I ever have, but I keep seeing things about myself that make me want to cry.
I'm covered in stretch marks from being so big as a child, and have sagging skin that is just not going away no matter how much muscle I put on. My face is really bad; I already look like I'm in my mid 30s, even with all the sunscreen and skincare money can buy. My body took on its adult form with so much extra weight that my skin feels more like a loose wetsuit than, well, skin. My ribs are grossly flared from having a weak core and big belly for so long, and my posture is terrible even with all the correcting exercises I have been doing. I still have some stubborn fat that I'm working on losing, but the last 15 pounds are so sticky that sometimes I wonder if they're ever going away.
However, the part that hurts the most, is that even if I used a magic wand (or surgeon) to get my perfect body now, I never got to be a pretty or even healthy young girl. I was so insecure for so long. I feel so ungrateful for being so focused on the past, and all the things about my body that I still detest. I'm trying to focus on getting the most of out the rest of my 20s, and being as healthy as I can for where I am, but I'm so angry at myself for sabotaging my health and self-worth so much.
Does anyone else feel this way? Or have any advice?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mqkfzz/im_proud_of_what_ive_done_but_it_feels_too_late/
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