I managed to lose 35 lbs before lockdown, and I actually kept it off while lockdown was going on. But then I quit my job and started grad school and both my mental health and eating habits have absolutely tanked. I know I need to weigh myself at the weekend to at least figure out how far I have to go, but I'm dreading it. The thought that I might have put on weight, or put it ALL back on, or even MORE, just makes me nauseous. 35 lbs sounds like an achievement until you realise I had to lose 100 lbs-- I wasn't even halfway there before I fell off the wagon and now I know I'm either back at the start or even worse off. How am I meant to do this?
I just wish someone would sew my mouth shut so I would stop stuffing my fat fucking face. I don't know why something that is so, so easy for everyone else is so hard for me. I don't know why I can't stop eating. I prepare the simplest, easiest meals because I know I hate cooking so it's a barrier to my success, but then when the time comes to eat they just sit in the fridge because I ordered a pizza or went down to the shops and spent £15 on sweets to binge eat instead. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know the theory, I just can't practice it.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/k5tm5f/im_afraid_to_weigh_myself_because_i_know_ive/
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