The Next Step

Hi all,

27M, ~225lbs, ~6'. First time posting here, hope nothing is amiss with my post, I just needed to get this out there somehow.

I ran cross country all four years of highschool - I remember my very first day I was at the front of the pack, just enjoying running and feeling free.

I burned out hard. Competing, actually competing, is hard, painful work, and by the end of my time there I had a large mental block about running to train. Looking back, I don't think I really wanted to compete when running, just to enjoy doing it.

In college I played ultimate frisbee. I loved and still do love the sport, but once again, truly becoming competitive was hard, painful work. School was stressful, and I kept slipping and skipping gym workouts so I could just lie down and relax. The takeout late at night and the beer didn't help either.

After college, I got a remote tech job. Lots of time spent sitting at the computer. At some point, I started looking in the mirror and feeling cognitive dissonance to what I saw.

I still picture(d) myself as the wiry teenager who could run 8 miles without a care in the world, and realizing that I put on (what feels to me like) so much weight was a disconnect.

For a while I think I just ignored it, then I became aware of it and started internally stressing over it, and would end up rationalizing a special meal for myself (read: takeout) to deal with other stressors. My family would end up bringing up that I may have put on a few pounds and should maybe go for a jog when I'd see them (in that infuriating yet at the same time loving way families do when they try to look out for each other). Though well-meaning, their reminders just stressed me out more and I kept retreating from dealing with my weight gain. In my mind, dealing with my weight was something only I could be the impetus for, not anyone else. Though I shared this with my family, it took a while for them to actually respect it.

I've tried off and on; staying with my family one summer they decided I was going to go low-carb (which didnt last long), I was able to stick with weight watchers for about a month, I tried tracking CICO and just found myself more stressed and stopped. I learned some muay thai in college and bought a bag to use for workouts - that lasted a couple months. At one point I bought a rowing machine on sale, and it's gotten good use, but not really by me, felt too much like running in a weird way. The idea of running gives me flashbacks to the endless sprints, of feeling exhausted after a particularly long run, and planar facietis I started to develop my senior year.

Something I read here a while ago finally clicked about a week ago: the best diet is the one you can stick with. And in that vein, the best workout is the one you can stick with.

On Nov 22, I set myself three goals for the next 30 days: 30mins of walking every day, write down what I eat, and some type of light workout over the course of the week. Honestly, that last one I need to work on, but I've stuck with the walking and meal tracking so far. I know it's not a lot, but I keep reminding myself that if this is what I can do right now for it to be sustainable, this is what I'm going to do because it's better than nothing.

My long-term plan is to review after the 30 days are up, and iterate. Maybe the walks become jogs, maybe the light workout gets harder, maybe I try counting calories again. I should probably work something in about getting better sleep, too. I'm not sure yet, and I won't be until I've proven to myself I can do this 30 days of basic tasks.

At some point, I want to set a specific goal weight, but for now my goal is to feel better about myself and my next step is to stick with my 30-day plan.

As for the title of my post, it's from a book which means a lot to me (paraphrased): "The most important step a person can take is not the first one, but the next one. Always the next one."

I've taken many, many first steps. From now on, I'm focusing on each next step as I come to them.

submitted by /u/eljakob737
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/k5tr0w/the_next_step/