I am new here! Please help me.

I am new in this sub. And I want to be fit and stay that way. I am a 27 year old , 5'5" and 130 kg Filipino man. I am currently teaching English online but I am a professional Medical Laboratory Scientist. I am currently unemployed because of this whole COVID-19 situation. I am currently processing my visa to migrate to Australia to provide a better future for my family and I realize I need to lose this weight to even have a chance to compete in an ever competitive job market.

I have always struggled to lose weight and has developed heart problems along the way. This heart problem has been congenital but my weight has exacerbated the symptoms and now I am left with a weak body that is weak to exercise but can still do low intensity workouts. My only problem is that I am unmotivated, slow to adapt and lazy. My biggest problem is the diet. I have started my caloric deficit diet but would always relapse into eating more that I should. The thing I noticed is that once I start eating more I couldn't stop. I have followed advice that once you aren't hungry anymore you should stop eating but the thing is I get so lost into eating that I couldn't recognize it at all. I just eat more and more. After eating and realizing that what I did was wrong, I would regret it and pile on what would now be an incredibly large amounts of insecurity and self-loathing I have buried deep inside of me. The feeling would pass and I would forget it and do it all over again.

I have tried to exercise but ,I think, because of my weight my ankles would burn like crazy and I would stop and it would hurt like hell. I have no problems with my joints though just the ankles. I am planning to get a stationary bike because I don't like going out this time because the pandemic is still rampant here on The Philippines.

I am very optimistic about this whole thing but as I have said prior those thoughts of insecurity will inevitably creep in.

SO PLEASE HELP ME ON MY JOURNEY. PLEASE. I WANT TO BE BETTER. FOR MY FAMILY AND FOR MYSELF. ANY HELP AND ADVICE WILL DO. PLEASE. THANK YOU, NIKKO.

submitted by /u/nj_cachila
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/k7mynm/i_am_new_here_please_help_me/