About 6 years ago I started really getting into improving my running. It was a slow work in progress but I was getting better and better. It was very exciting and I craved working out. I began losing weight. I never became what I considered thin but I reached 140lbs. Looking back I was at a pretty good weight. I’m 5’5” female. I definitely battled body dysmorphia. My Levi jeans were a size 6. My diet was terrible. I was still depressed so I tried to sleep as much as possible in order not to eat. I have a binge issue. I ended up rolling my ankle two times. After the first time I tried running again and I guess I took a sharp turn and rolled it again. I stopped running. It just wasn’t habitual anymore. It took those 6 years up to this point for me to gain weight and now I’m at 213lbs. The only good thing I have going on for myself is I’ve been consistent to workout two times a week weight training. I’m just now really getting into running again. It feels so freakin difficult. I’m also a heavy smoker. I had quit before when I got into running and I’m using running again to quit. I still have slip ups but instantly regret it because I can’t breathe. Anyway, my problem now is I’m trying to make it healthy lifestyle changes and I don’t want to encourage myself into any ED eating habits. I already have to break the binge eating. I’m not seeing much change and it’s proving to be a slow work in progress to change my mentality and habits. I just need encouragement. I’ve lost weight before but not necessarily in the healthiest way. I’m trying to do it this time by really changing my ways permanently. I have a lot of muscle build but it’s underneath fat. Idk. I kinda feel like it’s impossible but I’m trudging away at it. Thanks for reading.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/k8t4fr/am_i_delusional/
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