I hope it’s okay that I post this here, I just want to tell the story about my journey, and I’m also sorry for the format. I don’t reddit too good. In 2016 I got my very first puppy, Sami. At 5’7, 265 lbs I had no idea how she would change my life. I started walking her when her energy got to be too much for me to deal with every day after work. I started walking for her, but before I knew it we were walking 3.5 miles every single day, and we both just loved it. From there I started looking at what I ate, and slowly starting weeding out the processed food and excess sugars, and eventually I stared running. By 2018 (a blink of an eye it seemed) I had lost 90 pounds! I was elated and so proud of myself, and I couldn’t wait to see how far I could take my new life style. Then in June of 2018 my husband and I separated and the divorce became official in October of that year. Honestly that event fueled my fire to keep going and I started running every day, and cooking for myself became so much easier to eat better. It was just Sami and me against the world and the pavement. Then in 2019, just shy of her third birthday Sami got sick. We didn’t know what was wrong with her for about a month, but by the time she was diagnosed with a fungal infection it had moved into her lungs and there wasn’t much else that could be done that wouldn’t leave her with permanent lung damage and a mountain of debt for yours truly. So February 27, 2019 I said goodbye to my best little friend. I was heart broken which lead to a few weeks of smoking and eating my feelings. I tried walking my roommates dog, but it just made me sad. It just wasn’t the same as walking my girl. Mid March I started dating a wonderful and physically active man who helped me see that there was a light at the end of this particular tunnel. I remember feeling hopeful for the first time since Sami died that I could get a handle on my grief and funnel that through my exercise routine again. Then my world absolutely crashed around me. March 27, 2019 my mom called me to tell me she was outside my work and I need to come outside. She there delivered the news that my dad had taken his life the night before. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. Talk about eating my feelings, y’all. I bought a package of cookies that I kept by my bed, and every time I felt sad I’d eat a cookie(s) and cry. I went through a lot of cookies that first week, holy moly. As time went on, the easier it was to get out of bed, but the heavier my legs seemed to feel. I was in a pit of grief and I didn’t know what else to do other than eat. So that’s what I did, and my poor boyfriend just wanted to do what he could to make me happy, so he fed me. Without Sami I did not want to do much walking. I tried, but I hated every second of it. Walking the same streets that I once walked with Sami and my dad was just too painful, and even trying to walk a different route just felt like salt in a wound I wanted desperately to heal. That all went on for roughly a year and half, which brings me to my current situation. I’m now sitting on the couch which my now fiancé (getting married in October) and my four month old puppy, Gracie. Gracie and I started walking together after she healed from her spay surgery two weeks ago. We walk 2 miles in the mornings and two miles after work, trying to work on running again. The running is coming back more quickly than I had anticipated (probably because I quit smoking last July) which feels incredible. I’d probably gained 40 lbs back since Sami passed. I’ve never been one to keep regular track of my weight (I find it discourages me and isn’t personally productive), but I can already see and feel a difference. I can’t wait to not only get back to where I was post grief, but even beyond that. I want to be stronger and faster, both physically and emotionally. I’m seeing that same light I had seen before my dad passed, and I’m not letting it slip through my fingers again. Anyway, I hope all of your journeys are going well, and thanks for reading, if you made it through my novel.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/igrrdb/i_31f_am_trying_to_get_my_life_back/
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