The meanderings of my quarantined mind:
I am a pastry chef. I have loved the process of planning meals & celebrations since about the age of nine. Cooking and baking relaxes me, makes me happy. The smiles on the recipients faces is what I work for- I don’t care about awards or competition. My love of food led me to a career in food, which I love.
However. I also have been fighting the slow creep of weight gain since age 14. I’ve gained and lost the same 25 pounds at least five times.
The stories of “I stopped drinking soda and eating pizza and lost 80 lbs” frustrate me, as I eat well. Mostly vegetarian with some fish and wild game (we hunt) I live on mostly roasted veggies, yogurt, curry, & salad. Occasionally sushi.
I have to keep my calories under 1200 a day to lose any weight, and exercise at least 5 days a week. Anything higher than that, I gain weight. I walk 20-30,000 steps a day between work and exercise according to my Fitbit.
I watch all the sugar and butter that goes into my work and it feels so wrong. I make fantastic cookies I can’t eat. I work with 30 lbs of chocolate a week and allow myself a few bites. It’s just such an odd quandary, making indulgent treats all day while trying to avoid sugar myself.
Currently I’m 6 pounds down in my quest to get back to the strong, healthy weight that lets me fit all my clothes (not the fat clothes that hide any definition of a figure) I hit 170 lbs earlier this year, goal weight is 140.
Thanks for reading.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/khus1v/lovehate_relationship_with_food/
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