It has been 10 months. 10 months since I wrote in my journal "I need to lose weight." Last December, I went to my physical and was at a pretty healthy weight. At 5 foot 2, I could stand to lose a couple of pounds, but I was pretty healthy. From February to March, having gotten a job and easy access to a dollar tree with tons of indulgent snacks, I gained 20 lbs, blowing my healthy 5'2 frame into an overweight BMI.
I was livid with myself. I was so upset that I had gained all of this weight but I didn't do anything about it. Maybe I'd exercise, only to eat 1200 calories worth of Biscoff cookies. I remember back in July telling myself that I will lose the weight by my next physical appointment, and step on the scale, the same exact weight and not have to ever explain my binging episode.
Here I am, December 17, my physical is tomorrow and my weight is 5 pounds less than it was in March. I am disappointed in myself, and frankly a bit embarrassed, as I don't know what I'm going to explain to the doctor. However, I have finally stopped hating myself for it.
It's okay to be disappointed, as I messed up by not listening to advice that could have helped me, and instead of choosing exercise, I chose junk food. However, as I am experiencing spiritual growth and we're nearing the end of a long, rough year, I am ready to put my bad choices behind me and move forward.
I'm going to go to the doctor, tell her what happened, and come up with a plan. I'm going to stick with the plan, reward myself, and be realistic. I know it will be possible. I know I can do it. And what's even better? I've done the first step: I've joined this sub.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/kfd0ps/after_a_lot_of_internal_hatred_i_am_finally_ready/
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