Hey everyone!
I'm a long time lurker and I've been figuring out a lot of things over quarantine, both related to my weight gain and loss and otherwise. Before I get into it, I'm 5'3 21F who started at 179 lbs as is currently at around 164 lbs. I'm going to explain a bit of the backstory first, and then get into my IE question.
So, I've realised that over the last four years I have consistently gained and lost a minimum of 14 lbs every single year (upwards to about 30lbs) without necesarily trying. This appears to be linked to my mental health but also when I'm living by myself or with my parents (I'm a uni student). Now, I have a weird relationship with food because when I was younger, my parents had to try to get me to eat more because I didn't eat enough. They did this by noticing that I always ate half of what was on my plate, so they increased my portion sizes until half my plate was a normal portion. Eventually, I started eating more as I grew until I was eating the whole plate - but the portion sizes never decreased again and so I started putting on weight. I don't know why this worked, but I think maybe I realised that half a plate was the minimum I could eat without adults getting too worried?
The thing is, I've realised that I don't eat when I'm hungry or because I want to. I eat because I think I should eat. Even if I don't want breakfast, I've been told it's the most important meal of the deal so I eat it. I'm full halfway through lunch but I've been told it's rude to not eat the whole plate / I don't want the person who cooked it to think I don't like it. I ate loads of snacks in the afternoon so I'm not hungry at dinner but I make some anyway because I think it's 'healthier' to eat one of the three meals a day even if I'm overfeeding myself. I have so many examples through the years! I'm quite a picky eater as well, and I've even realised that I quite often don't even particularly like the food that I'm eating, I'm just doing it because it's what I should do. However, when I have a lifestyle that I'm enjoying and is suitably distracting from internal rumination, I barely think about food and I lose some weight (which I think is why I lose weight at university - although lets not negate the calories burnt while dancing at clubs).
Now to the question about intuitive eating.
I started looking into it because it's what I want to do: be more in tune with my body and my hunger cues so that I only eat when I'm actually hungry, because when I do, I tend to naturally eat the right amount. However, when I joined r/intuitiveeating I've noticed that a lot of people start IE because they restrict and they're trying to get rid of the diet mentality. There's a lot HAES talk. The thing is, not only am I trying to eat less, I am not healthy at my current weight. Heart disease, diabetes (type 1 and type 2), chronic fatigue and hypermobile joints run in the family to name only a few things. Some of my joints are already weak. I can already feel partial dislocations happening from every day activities. I know I can't cure this with weightloss, but I can make it easier for my body. I've seen the future in my parents and my grandparents, in their loss of mobility and health issues, and it's a future I don't want.
Has anyone else started IE from a similar mindset of eating less not more? Is there a different name for this or a different community better suited for my purposes? Can anyone relate?
Sorry, this turned into a really long rambly post! I'd just appreciate knowing if anyone was going through a similar journey! Thanks!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/imdwoz/intuitive_eating_to_eat_less/
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