TW: some alcoholism
Almost 5 years ago, I was young, spry, and on my way out of high school. I would longboard or bike everywhere. I worked out off and on. My diet was bad, but nothing my youth and physical activity couldn't hold back.
Some things happened. Life got me down. I was 18 at that point, and started drinking. Within a year, I'd be downing 20 shots before bed. Within 2 years, I was fast approaching 300 pounds, my waist went from 30->44, my shirts went from L->3XL. I was 20, unemployed, $7000 in credit card debt, and horrified at the person I had become. I tried to quit drinking, but nothing worked. I tried to quit eating, but I hated being hungry.
After at least 80 job applications, I got a job at a library. Things were rough at first, but it was alright. But the weight wouldn't come off. I had no energy. I had decided that there was no getting better, no light at the end of the tunnel. I hit 300 pounds.
I continued that life, depressed, not paying off my debt, eating and drinking too much. Until March, the week before the pandemic closed my university.
I walked into the health center. The scale said 315 pounds. The doctor just said "its alright, we all gain weight in college." I felt ashamed of myself, wrought with guilt and self loathing. I didn't sleep that night.
I tried to quit drinking, but told myself once a month is okay. I broke even that rule, but was doing better than before. Until halfway through August, after moving to a new place. Something clicked.
3 weeks ago, roughly, I stopped drinking completely. The scale now looked back at me with a bold 296. I felt like if I didn't grab hold of life now, it would get away from me. My white whale was always swimming away.
I'm 3 weeks in. I eat the same things every day. I start the day with a breakfast sausage and egg burrito at 600 calories and a cup of overnight oats with fruit at 300 calories. I eat every day at noon. For dinner, I switched from chicken to beef and smoked sausage. I have a beef and barley stew and a plate of veggies and sausage. 200 and 350 calories, 550 combined.
1450 calories every day. I'm hungry, hungrier than ever, but I'm awake and I am pushing forward.
Today, the scale smiled back at me and said 286. I smiled back and said not for long, old friend.
Last week, I started walking. 3000 to 4000 steps. Every day. No exceptions, not rain, snow, nor an act of God.
This week, I'm on day 3 of weightlifting. I do a PPL routine based on an old workout routine I did years ago. A year ago in a fit of anger, I had bought a full set of at home workout equipment. It was no longer alone in the corner, a sad testament to the ever growing self loathing inside. I workout for 3 days, then take 1 day off. Every day, I walk. One day, when my knees don't have to bear the burden of my mistakes, I will run. Soon, I'll be adopting some form of HIIT. I see a dietitian monthly over video chat. I scheduled one meeting with her a month, not wanting to let the other me inside stop me. No going back, the only way out is through.
I workout 40 minutes a day. I walk for a minimum of 30. I eat at noon and 7. No snacks. Black coffee for breakfast, plain chamomile tea for dinner. I meal prep with my fiancée on Sundays. We cook 14 meals, it's not much, so she doesn't mind helping. I have no qualms with this layout, and look forward to my meals. I plan to try different stews and soups, different protein too, and have built in calories I can drop from my diet when the plateaus come.
Everything I do: 8/16 IF No fast food. No alcohol. 1450 calories. CICO is important. I used to eat 3400 calories a day. I stopped overnight. Increasingly longer walks. 5-6 day a week weight lifting. I'll raise my weights as I see fit biweekly.
I don't drink any calories, or only a negligible amount. I weight myself once in the morning and once at night. I do all of my academic work a week in advance and free up hours in my schedule for my routine. I use my money saved on trivial things, and food and alcohol money from before on my debt. That, combined with some financial aid, has my debt at $1800.
I wake up with energy. I no longer nap 4 hours a day. I look forward to the sun. Every 3 days, the scale drops a quantifiable amount. At my rate, it won't stop doing so for some time. I keep a picture of me on day 1 on my excel sheet I update every day, to remind me why I'm doing this. Why it matters. I don't recommend it, but it helps me see the subtle differences as I go. I can see and verify the change. And that is important to me, that this time, there's a chance.
Do you see any things you think I should fix? Did my first steps give you ideas to help yourself? Let me know. I'll update my journey at 250 pounds. See you all there.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/iohic7/any_advice_i_gained_130_pounds_in_college_im/
No comments:
Post a Comment