Alcohol is the devil, puff makes me lazy, starting my healthy journey by breaking up with the bottle and herb as my step one.

I have posted false starts and stops on this board more times than I can count. Ive had so many damn day 1s. I always try to do too much to start, and quit. I am 242lbs and sedentary and I’d start by trying to bike daily and immediately intermittent fast and my oppositional nature would be revolting and inevitably quit. I guess I’m too nice to myself? No, really I’ve just developed really bad coping mechanisms. Work stress? Weed and alcohol are how I’ve been self-medicating. We can also add poor eating into this.

The stress of quarantine and FT work end parenting left me drinking in excess daily. I’d have MAYBE a single week of perfect eating followed by a weekend of disastrous binge drinking because “clears aren’t so bad” or to “have fun and relax” it’s how I began training myself like pavlovs dog to let off steam from the stress of my week. Weed has been a daily part of my life since my Freshman year of college. I’m now 36, so that’s 20+ years. This isn’t knocking weed, weed is wonderful, but I’m coming to terms that habitual use of anything is bad for your brains. I’ve been abusing this stuff and when I look in the mirror I can see that.

I recently just had the epiphany that I need to get rid of this stuff first. Like, maybe it was holding me back and the reason I’m so apathetic and not focused is because I’ve been numbing myself out so long I’ve lost touch with treating my body and soul as a temple. I’ve felt like I’m stuck in a rut for many years now. Today is Friday and the craving is strong. The post yesterday about discipline really resonated with me.

So today is my 5th day of sobriety. I committed to a SHORT challenge of 2 week. Once this 2 weeks is over I will make another micro-goal. I say 2 weeks but it’s really been daily. Any single day I could mess this up. Thanks to the discipline post I think I am maybe feeling a shift in my mentality.

I think it’s so easy to be impatient with yourself, but how do you put that aside to focus on what really matters to you? The post yesterday made me realize that you commit to yourself and there’s no excuses.

I think the next 2 weeks I’m going to focus on walking daily, but I guess we will see when and if I get there.

Happy Friday, team!

submitted by /u/Dominant_Genes
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/izkfii/alcohol_is_the_devil_puff_makes_me_lazy_starting/