Ok standard on mobile so excuse format. This has a question but is also a rant of sorts I guess.
Background I’m 38F , BF is 40, his divorce has been going since before I met him. Been together two years. Divorce should be done by maybe September this year.
Ok so due to the following we have to do IVF. He had a vesctomy before I met him I had to have both my tubes removed due to a coil being incorrectly inserted and it causing an infection. Had that cut out of my womb. This was before I met him.
I had a Borderline Ovarian Tumour removed last year. They didn’t know it was that when they removed it. However, given that we wanted to try IVF they then operated again to remove the ovary.
I had lots of pain , spent Christmas in hospital and had various invasive tests. During this time I know I put weight on.
So yesterday my BF and I were discussing the fact that I wanted to lose that weight. I’d put on 35lbs. Which had taken me from a healthy BMI to an unhealthy one. For IVF I’d like to be at a BMI of 21. My old weight.
He without me asking decided to volunteer that I should lose 70 lbs. This would actually ensure I was sub optimal for ivf.
He is amazed I’m upset. Because apparently he just pulled that number from thin air. My point is that he obviously thinks I’m much heavier than I am. I am upset because:
He knows what I’ve been through regarding the operations and drugs I’ve been on.
He knows that I wouldn’t risk IVF if I wasn’t at a decent BMI
He knows that this is the time that I lost my daughter to SIDS.
He knows that his ex who is a larger lady likes to mock me for going from a size 4 to a size to a 10. I mean she takes pictures and posts about me. I was supposed to go to - and this because the children asked me to events that their mom will be at. I was already worried. I’m not going to tell two very young children that I can’t go because their mom hates me. I was not with him when they separated or even started the never ending divorce. Literally it’s been 4 years. We’ve been together 2. Well just over.
So I have explained all this to him and the response I get is that he never lies to me and that he pulled that number from thin air. To me I feel really unsupported.
I was told I could do a meal replacement diet that would undoubtedly make me lose weight as I’d be on 450kcaks a day.
Given my age , the comments from my partner I feel like I should. It’s going to be quick and I have limited time. I’m currently crying about how my partner thinks I’m much heavier and would endanger a child.
I’m just heart broken and he keeps trying to tell me how beautiful I am and keeps trying to hug me. Then he is annoyed that I actually don’t want him to. I feel really let down but he thinks 450kcaks a day is a great idea.
I know from my days of having an eating disorder that I’d do more than that on some days. He also knew that I’d had an eating disorder.
TLDR Need to lose half the weight my bf thinks I do for IVF. Do I do a meal replacement diet of 450kcaks to achieve the loss quickly?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/fcbges/partner_suggesting_how_much_to_loose/
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