I sit down and eat my breakfast - a couple of eggos with PB - and I am hungry. I have to count the calories to tell myself to stop eating. All I can think about is eating more because I feel hunger even after I have eaten my allotted calories. When I am finished eating, I think about how much more I will weight because of what I ate. In other words, I am thinking about food before, during, and after I eat, and thinking about how much I weight the entire time. (M, 38, 6', 240 - goal 199)
Meanwhile, my wife can sit down, eat half of an eggo with some PB, declare herself full, and be done eating until a snack in a couple of hours. She NEVER complains of hunger. She legitimately declares that she is full after eating that small amount of food.
I am in tears not because she can stop eating, but because it all sound so NORMAL. She can just BE. I can never just BE when it comes to food. Before, during, and after EVERY bit of food I feel some combination of need, anger, shame, frustration, and constant hunger. I can't even conceptualize NORMAL. Same, too, with exercize. She just goes for a walk. I have to think about how far, how many calories, how fast, how much I will have to eat or not eat after the walk.
HOW DO WE GET TO NORMAL, to just BE and not have to be hypervigilant every second, not be hungry all the time?
As I said to my wife the other day, I feel like I can be happy (just eating what I want and doing what I want without reference to numbers or counting) or I can be healthy (counting everything and being hypervigilant), but I will never be both healthy and happy.
Advice welcomed.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ilrvyd/what_does_normal_feel_like/
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