Sorry for mobile formatting.
I am a 25 F, 5’8 and around 230 pounds. I don’t look like it, but I feel like it.
I grew up in an abusive household where nutrients and vitamins were two words that were NEVER used. If there was a hot meal it was canned soup, microwaveable meals and on special occasions mashed potatoes, pork chops and gravy - no jokes that was special occasions. The other times I had to eat random things I found in the house, condiments and such. When I got my first job I would buy my own food but it would be pure junk and a lot at once. That continued on for years, I’d go through spurts of trying to work out and eat healthy but never lasted. I drank, smoked cigarettes on and off since high school until I was about 17-18? Then in my early 20’s I went through periods of smoking for maybe a month straight or having a few cigarettes when partying. Not a lot by any standard but I fully regret every picking up a cigarette. When I met my now fiancé at 18 and moved in with his family, I ate pretty healthy as his parents cooked. And then when we moved out we did eat healthy items but more times we ate junk food and lots of fast food. I drank a lot too. The only thing that kept me semi active was some of the jobs I had and my dog, taking her for walks and running around with her in the backyard. A month and a bit ago she passed unexpectedly, it took a toll on me. I went a few days without eating and barely drinking anything. All I did was lay in bed or on the couch. After that when I ate it wasn’t healthy, quick meals or fast food. Almost zero movement unless I absolutely had to. Lots of anxiety and stress and then a week ago I said enough, I know my sweet girl would want me to take care of myself so I can live a long and happy life with my fiancé, I know she is in no rush to see me. I really regret the way I’ve treated my body for so long. I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve started to try and eat healthier, more nutritious meals. Lots of water. Started taking women’s multi vitamin, B-12, Biotin for the hair thinning caused by stress, vitamin c and Metamucil in the morning. Started trying to incorporate working out and I’m going to try and go for a run tomorrow. I’m also vowing to stop smoking weed tonight. It’s not doing my body any good, every time I smoke I have a panic attack and my chest feels like it’s going to implode and my entire body shakes. I think my body isn’t used to all these nutrients or went so long without them, it doesn’t know how to react. Not feeling the greatest but I know that’s my body adjusting. I know I have caused damage to my body that may not be reversible but that doesn’t mean I can’t start taking care of myself and making sure I’m healthy, mentally and physically. I’m excited to see where I’ll be in 6 months, I know I’ll still be missing my sweet old girl but maybe I’ll just have abs that flex when I cry.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/fdocid/after_25_years_of_unhealthy_habits_my_dogs_death/
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