Ever since experiencing my dad's death from terminal illness and grieving, as well as the pandemic and mostly staying at home, I have gained around 20 kg (44 pounds). I am a short girl of 159 cm (5'2") and that amount makes an absolute huge difference for me. I have been lucky with my pear-shaped body though, so even though I'm verging on obesity, my weight is more or less well distributed and my smaller waist makes me look like I'm "very thick" instead of very fat.
I guess this is why I managed to lie myself for so long and ignore how serious my weight gain is, even though I have suffered numerous health issues as a result (mostly hormone imbalances which were noticeable, but not so serious for me to do something about them). Also, I felt extremely pissed off at the people around me, who instead of being there while I was grieving, were just pointing out my weight gain. Keeping the weight was a form of protest against them, like "You keep telling me it's important how my body looks right after my dad died - it's not. It's important how broken I feel." I "tried" exercising and eating better, but deep down I knew I needed to really make a decision to lose the weight.
Yesterday, my loving partner, who I met a while after my dad died, was massaging my back. He's only known me with the extra weight on and he never considered me fat or was bothered by my weight. Even when I'm feeling completely unattractive and counting my stretch marks (there are a lot!), he makes me feel beautiful and sexy. Every time he hears my mom or someone make a comment about my weight, he quickly tells me I am not fat and that no matter how I look, I'll always be attractive to him. He knows I need to hear this. So, yesterday, while massaging my back he noticed that it's hollow. He didn't even relate it to my weight, just said very caringly that I should sleep on my back instead of my belly. I got up afterwards and checked my natural posture and quickly realised that it looks like I have lordosis. It is so noticeable that I can't deny it.
And after all of this time, I finally have the motivation to do something about my body. It's not just because of the lordosis, but it's definitely a wake up call I can't ignore (being so visible). It's about the way he cared about my health about all else - not about how my body looks. It's like he didn't even relate it to my weight in his head. I don't know why, but this makes such a huge emotional difference for me and I feel truly ready to start taking care of my body again.
Today I skipped the sugary juice I usually have in the morning and opted for water. It's a start. I always said I couldn't give up my morning sugar rush, but today I felt different.
I just wanted to share. Thank you for reading.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/n4jzb3/the_way_he_said_it_changes_everything/
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