Man.... the past few years have been such a wild ride. A year ago I got below 200lbs for the first time since I graduated from college in 2015. I was high on life, exercising regularly, taking care of my mental and physical health and in a really wonderful place in life. I was able to maintain that for 6 months or so before life started throwing me curveballs and I fell back into bad habits.
I thought that I had made the changes a big enough part of my life that they were around to stay for the long haul but life managed to get in the way.
I started dating someone shortly after I broke 200lbs over last summer and initially it was the best relationship I had ever been in and I was really enjoying life. In hindsight it’s clear that over the following 6 months, I started slowly focusing more on his needs and taking care of him and started pushing my desires and wants to the side. On top of that, I lost my job in October and was unemployed for 2 months. I was completely blindsided and felt like I hit rock bottom. This resulted in me ballooning up to 212lbs shortly after because I was consoling myself with food and dealing with my emotions by binging. Life felt so out of control, but food gave me this sense of comfort that I was so desperately missing.
Thankfully, after two months of unemployment I found a new job that I’m really enjoying. Thinking that things were finally looking up, I was blindsided yet again by finding out firsthand that my now ex was cheating on me and had been cheating on me for a while. I believed I was going to marry this man and share my life with him. After just experiencing the pain of losing my job, I thought I was going to lose my mind when I found out what had been going on.
Now to present day - I ultimately consider him cheating on me a blessing in disguise. I had to take a long hard look at myself and accept the part I had to play in what happened. (No, I am not blaming myself for him cheating on me although I am trying to accept responsibility for the fact that I stopped respecting myself and putting my needs first somewhere along the way).
I have completely shifted the way I look at myself and how I feel about myself. For the first time in maybe my whole life, I am trying to respect myself and my body. I have been exercising regularly, eating well, prioritizing my mental health, and taking daily steps to show myself that I am worthy of love and respect. I am actually listening to my body and trying to discern what I need instead of what I want at that time and as a result am an even lower weight than where I was last summer and I feel really good in my own skin.
When I was able to shift my perspective on losing weight from, “I want to be skinny and diet because my gut is not cute” to “my end goal is feeling better in my skin regardless of my weight because I am worthy of loving myself and the body I’m in” - things have completely changed for myself. It’s no longer about the challenge of dieting or counting calories for me, it’s about the journey of loving myself and choosing to respect my body by making healthier choices in all different avenues of my life.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I wanted to share my story in hopes of letting people know that there is still hope after life throws you curve after curve. You are worth it and you are deserving of feeling amazing in your body.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gvu7r1/what_a_journey_from_my_lowest_weight_to_my/
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