I am so scared I’ll never be able to reverse the damage I’ve done over the past five years

I have gained approx 45kg in the last five years. I am the biggest and unhealthiest I have ever been. I don’t even know how I got here (well I do, it’s by eating too much). I have been desperate to lose the weight since I put on my first 3kg but instead of losing I have just been steadily gaining. I have had periods of losing, always followed by gaining it back and then some. I feel like I’ve tried every diet and every product but I haven’t stuck to any of them - even when I have had success. Reading all the success stories on here keeps me hopeful but some days I wonder if I will ever have a success story of my own. I need to lose the weight and improve my fitness. We are trying to conceive and I desperately want to be healthier and slimmer for the next round of IVF. I just don’t know what to do next - what diet, what book, what program. I don’t know where to start again! Sorry for the negative post - I’m feeling hopeless and lost today!

submitted by /u/aussie_lurker_1
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hhcwp6/i_am_so_scared_ill_never_be_able_to_reverse_the/