I don’t currently know how much I weigh, and as much as I really want to know, the universe isn’t allowing me to find out and I think it’s actually for the best! Last time I was weighed was in March at my doctors and I was 70.2kg (F28/157cm) putting me in the overweight BMI range. I didn’t feel good, I didn’t like how I looked and I had a lot of demons following me around from years previous (bulimia/alcohol issues/depression).
In about April, I decided enough was enough and if I wanted to be happy in my body, guess what! I was going to have to work for it instead of making zero changes and waiting for it magically happen. With the help of my therapist, we spoke about a way I could watch my calories without going overboard or becoming obsessive. I started getting active in some way, every day, for at least 60 minutes. I stopped drinking alone, and drastically cut my alcohol intake to well below the weekly recommendations from the government.
I knew the weight was coming off, because my clothes started fitting better. I felt good, I had more energy. I started looking forward to my daily activity instead of having to force myself to do it. Friends I hadn’t seen (because of COVID) started commenting how good I was looking. I went to the doctors again yesterday, and asked if I could be weighed. Jumped on the scales...73.1kg.
Now, normally seeing a gain would send me in to a tailspin and I would freak out and all those ED thoughts would come back. But NO. I said “that can’t be right!” And my doctor agreed, she said I looked a lot smaller than when she last saw me. “My pants are hanging off me at the moment, that can’t be right...” We readjusted the scale and again 73.1kg. My doctor just smiled at me and said “well, that confirms it. I had another patient in here today who weighed herself and she also said it was wildly inaccurate, so my scales are definitely broken.” I told her not to worry and I’d weigh myself at the gym today instead.
Now, my therapist and I have spoken at length about the scales, and she said as long as I felt I was ready and comfortable, go ahead. But no weighing in more than once every two weeks. Got to the gym this morning, went for the scales. Stepped on. ERR. Jumped off, waited, tried again. ERR. Asked a staff member- yep, their scales are broken too. SO I don’t know how much I weigh, and I’m actually happy I don’t. I’m just going to continue eating well, exercising regularly and enjoy seeing small changes to my body instead of focusing on the number. I will weigh myself eventually, but I think maybe this is the universe telling me I’m not ready yet, and to keep going strong with what I’m doing instead.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hcejxc/the_universe_wont_let_me_weighin/
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