Hey everybody. I have a longer story about my life and fitness that I'll try and keep on the "shorter" side.
I've always had a weird relationship with fitness. When I graduated high school, I busting at the seems over 312 lbs or 142 kg (6' 3") and was pretty miserable physically and mentally. Not to mention that I had already been overweight since at least 1st grade.
Most of my days included endless hours of video games, terrible eating habits, zero drive, completely skipping homework (and as much school as possible), flunking classes (I got an F, about a 13% Senior year in Chemistry), and was barely getting out of high school. I'd have to double check my transcripts but we're talking 2.0 kind of struggle.
I was barely holding down my first part-time job getting carts and bagging groceries at the time. I had not completed my ACT for university and didn't really have any intentions to.
Then one day with some friends (a month or two after high school graduation) I was participating in some extracurricular activity on the way to a party that would end up being the first point in my life where I pivoted for the better. After a pretty traumatic experience, I almost became semi-incapable to leave the house for fear of having severe panic attacks. I felt that I may have been suffering from some sort of acute PTSD type issues. My day was mentally consumed by thinking about dying (at least 80%), getting back into a car, especially at night would almost instantly trigger a panic attack. And truthfully for a little while I was pretty lost and wasn't sure I'd ever get better or end up leading any sort of life. So what was the point?
Coming back around, I had always wanted to be in good shape. Who doesn't? But I was coming up on 19, no future, no plans, isolated, and over all of it. To be completely honest, I really just wanted girls to be interested in me for once. I tried a trainer when I was 17, which is a good story for another time.
One day, I grabbed a black sharpie and wrote right on my bedroom ceiling "JUST DO IT." Which I would like to add predates Shia Lebeouf, so Shia, royalties? Kidding.
And I finally made my way to the High School Fitness Center where I was staring down failure for like the 15th time. But this time, it was different. I didn't know what to do so I said, I'll run a mile. I don't think I had ever exceeded a mile throughout any time in High School. I had no idea how hard it would be for me. I only made it 1/2 a mile before I had to quit. I couldn't breathe, my lungs burned, my feet hurt, and I was self conscious.
Completely defeated I ended up leaving. But determined more than ever this time. I came back. Over and over and over and over and over. I would see guys in graduating classes before me weight training and not knowing anything it took me three months and a completely empty gym before I tried to incorporate any blessings of gains from the Church of Iron.
Now fast forward about a year and a half, I was down to about 260 lbs or 118 kg (roughly -50 lbs/-23 kg). This is the point where things really started to change for me. I was now moved from a "Utility Clerk" to a Cashier and on the cusp of becoming a Customer Service Rep. Which helps facilitate and oversees all the front end employees.
Jump forward another few months, things continue to go better and better. Exercise is now consuming me and it's assisting me as much physically as mentally. I'm learning that through sheer will power, sacrifice, dedication, and decision making that I'm becoming capable of all of my own outcomes/opportunities. I'm beginning to lay the foundation that I can will things into existence if I want. Still no gf yet :-(.
I decided to take my shot at taking my ACT to get into university, almost 2 full years without attending any educational based courses. I score a 19 with minimal prep. Not the worst I've heard of but I didn't think there was any chance of getting into a 4-year program.
I try my luck at the University of Milwaukee-Wisconsin. A four year program located north of downtown Milwaukee. One of the better state schools (second to Madison) #OnWisconsin. At this time I'm faced with another decision.
Do I attempt to get into the company management program?
As time ticked down to make the call for that upcoming Fall's semester, I got my response from UWM. ACCEPTED! But, through a specialized education program. I damn near peed myself. I'm doing it AGAIN! I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps.
Jump to the end of the first college semester. 4.0. BOOM. "YOU LIKE THAT" *Kirk Cousins voice* jump to sophomore year, first internship, i'm 205 lbs (top right/bottom left), 10% body fat, jacked, girls talk to me. I even landed a hot babe finally.
THIS IS THE LIFE I WAS MEANT TO LIVE.
Around my late sophomore/early junior year of college I said, well if everything goes this well, let's take a stab at another dream. Becoming a Twitch streamer. Things stay slow for a while, my habits start to shift, I begin sleeping all day, grades start to drop, personal relationships get rocky, I get into another weird space, I stop working out, I start to put on weight. I'm learning more life lessons.
I graduate college in four years without too much concern but my GPA did drop to around 2.9 by the time I was done.
But now i'm almost 270 lbs/122 kg almost 2 years (pictured bottom middle) after being at my first physical peak.
I line up an opportunity right on the Monday following the same Saturday I graduate. Which is a damn good thing because I had only $50 left to my name at this point after depleting any loans and saved money I have from working. And I don't have family in any position to shell out any extra cash. Three months in, the project gets cut, I'm jobless already. But it was the spark I need again to realize I'm a world crusher.
Jump to my next job I launch myself into a management role overseeing the smallest of our branch offices. But something I was proud of nonetheless. The opportunity seems limitless.
Although, I start sensing a change in the wind. In the meantime, I'm starting and failing again and again at fitness.
I begin losing some close family members. The pandemic turns sales somewhat sour at my job. My girlfriend (the one and only I've ever had, coming up on 5 years now!) get our third dog, a border collie puppy. Dogs in my life are about as close to a human kid as it could be without having thumbs. We spent a year prepping, structuring, setting expectations (we do dog performance sports), etc. In just a month I'm dealt probably the toughest lesson and reminder I've ever gotten.
RIP Archer. You were a brave little guy. We still aren't sure why Arch was sick. All genetic testing, and the several thousands of dollars of other tests cited nothing wrong.
Regardless, it reminded me that life does not have regard for your preparation, your intention, your agenda, the quality of human you are (or kind of pup you'll be). Life is fleeting and we only get one of them so lets make something of it.
The lesson Archer gave me was to have the courage to be exactly what I've always supposed to be. So amidst the pandemic, I quit my job that I felt was suffocating me. I've worked to position myself to be agile regardless of the market. Regardless, "that's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off for em."
I'm finding my way again with fitness and have been absolutely relentless just about 250 lbs/113 kg now (bottom right). I've decided to document & produce everything this time (exercise/workouts/thoughts/opinions/approach). Along with other fitness specific content to share.
I've set bigger and better fitness goals this time too. From leaning out (again), packing on lean muscle mass (again), and I plan on doing a triathlon. We like to have fun here obviously (sarcasm - cardio = hell.... but also incredible).... it's complicated.
I wanted to share my story and tell other people how important fitness is for them. Because every time I turn around fitness reminds me of how much I can learn from the struggle it gives me.
And if anyone out there needs someone to lean on. I'd be happy to be that resource for you. Let's help each other learn.
It's not about me and my journey, it's about learning about your own. I hope that we can just continue to push along the conversation of living a healthier & happier life physically and mentally.
Please make sure to comment how your fitness journey is coming along!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hd2zf9/lost_100_lbs_gained_over_60_lbs_my_story_and_life/
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