I'm still trying to wrap my head around it honestly... I started at 347 as of February 20th this year, and im all the way down to 317 as of yesterday! I really cracked down on my self at the beginning of march this year, after we had moved halfway across the state and i decided i was going to seize this opportunity to be a whole new me. The world is seemingly falling apart, but i was done falling apart with it.
I've got a long list of health issues, plantar fasciitis, lumbago, joint damage, sleep apnea, thyroid issues, severe mix type IBS, it just goes on and on, and i cannot live like this for even another single year. It's too much, I'd have no future worth living if i kept on how i was, relying on old coping mechanisms i developed in an abusive household as a kid... I've fought so hard to be where i am, and have had so many people help support me, I'm done wasting that by indulging my worst habits.
And honestly i feel like i cheated some how, I didn't make any dramatic changes, or any seriously fad diet changes, i just started listening to my body, and being kinder to my self, not losing steam after a bad meal or a bad day. Honestly? I still eat fast food at least once or twice a week!! As much as i can eat even, and i still snack, drink soda, and have weak days. But with the help of MyFitnessPal i learned a lot about the foods i was choosing, and try to stick to 1900 cal or less a day, stick within the natural intermittent fasting eating cycle my body wants me to have, and try to better balance my core food groups of fats/carbs/protein as best i can, without making it mentally and emotionally strenuous on my self.
I'm learning to love my self enough to meal prep, have more meat free nights, bulk my meals up with more veggies and less carbs, but also still loving my self in ways I'm familiar with - taco bell box deals and sweets and crunchy snacks, but with the mindset of being aware of how many calories I'm eating, and how those calories balance with my nutritional needs. I've even connected with a dietician who'll be monitoring my progress, and help give me advice on how i can better stay healthy.
For me at least this is as much a mental health battle as it is a physical health one, and I've spent so many years trying and failing to balance the needs of my mind with the needs of my body.... I don't own a scale, i dont measure my self, and I don't beat my self up when I'm weak. I'm losing a pound a week, I'm doing good, honest to goodness good, I'm really doing it, really really doing it. I'm on track to lose 60 pounds in 2020, and 120 by the end of 2021. At that point I'll be 220lbs, less than i weighed at 14 years old.
I'm a little scared, I've never seen my body without layers of fat, and the loose skin terrifies me horribly.... But what terrifies me more is letting my painful, harsh life amount to nothing more than another obesity statistic. All that pain, all that trauma, all that illness, I'm going to harness, and make something worthy out of, and i am so grateful to this community for helping to keep me going, helping to remind me every day that it's worth it to keep working, even on my bad days. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I can't wait to update you guys after my next mile stone!!
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hbw52c/still_early_in_my_journey_but_im_30lbs_down_sw347/
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