Hey guys.
I read through here a lot on my main account, and I have to lead by saying that you’re such a wonderful community, and fantastically supportive of one another!
I thought that maybe I’d share my story as it might not be the norm.
I’m now 29, and not quite at my highest weight, but nowhere near my lowest. I’ll preface this by saying that even at my heaviest, I have never been called “fat” in my life. Both my parents were on the skinny side growing up, but naturally, middle age is a different matter when you aren’t making the effort to maintain a level of fitness or dietary awareness.
I was a bit of an ugly duckling, and didn’t have many friends as a kid. My parents were separated, and I lived with my mother. She was desperately mentally ill and scarcely got out of bed in the time between me being about 7 and 10 years old. I guess I now think of those as formative food years (and formative in many other ways). Given that I was an only child, I didn’t know how to cook anything, and often ate tins of beans or the like for dinner. I was really well fed on my weekends with dad, but never mentioned what things were like at home, as I was frightened I would be getting mum “in trouble”.
Complex custody arrangements meant that doing sport of any kind outside of school hours was more or less out of the question, and I was too skinny to be doing exercise anyway, as far as my family were concerned. I was always naturally on OMAD, without even realising. I drank Coke like it was going out of business, killed my teeth, and didn’t really have a BMI of more than 17 until I hit my mid twenties.
The first I remember feeling any real sense of pride in my body was when I was 16 and had my ears fixed - they were genetically deformed. The plastic surgeon told me I should become a model. Off I went, was bundled up by an agency, and then weight became a major factor for me. At 5’8” and 113ish lb, I was “fat”, and frankly not pretty enough to work much anyway with that kind of body. I developed a whole host of other body issues that were previously a foreign idea.
At 26, I went through a significant trauma that dragged out for about 18 months. I was off work for three months, and drank every day. Suddenly, I was 160lb and a pretty serious alcoholic.
I’m doing better with alcohol now (but still drink far more than I should), but my weight has been a struggle. I got back to around 125lb very briefly, and then congratulate myself by engaging in long periods of bingeing. This now has to stop. For the first time in my life, I’m drinking a LOT of water, making the choices that aren’t as delicious but are satiating in the way that matters, and listening to my body instead of torturing it. My aim is also to become active for the first time in my life. I’ll never be an athlete, but I can certainly start forming healthy habits.
My point, and the TLDR, is: every struggle is a bit different, and mine certainly isn’t the worst, but feeling “wrong” in your body is difficult for everyone. Reading through so many stories here have filled me with your joys, your difficulties, your insights and your mindset towards getting back to somewhere healthy. I’ve learned (from this sub) that I was never really “naturally thin”, I was just eating for function, and I’m bizarrely nearly thankful for that.
Maybe one day I’ll be back to the long-limbed delicate thing I used to be - but I doubt it. I’m an adult now, with an adult body. Never getting back to where I was is fine, and it took me forever to accept that.
Really glad to be here with you all, whether your journey started with higher numbers or lower ones, we’re all on our way to health now. For the other people out there that may be experiencing a desire to return to “rail thin” - if you don’t get there, maybe it’s because your body has matured to better support the person living in it.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/hea5sk/skinny_fat_naturally_thin_and_what_ive_learned/
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