Behavior, Mindset, Motivation and Losing weight: 8 lessons that will keep you on track

you have probably already made some attempts to lose weight or leave unwanted behavior behind. You may want to stop smoking, drink less or exercise more. You start and you start enthusiastically with the best intentions. Two or three weeks later there is little to see in return. You swear twice and let it go. You have completely lost your motivation to lose weight or to change your lifestyle. You fall back on your old behavior. It is a common phenomenon. If you want to get started with your lifestyle and lose weight sustainably or live a healthier life, then it is your motivation and mindset that will make the difference. This article is for you if you are wondering why you cannot retain your motivation during weight loss or change how you can retain your motivation what the role of behavior is in this how you can manage your own behavior Questions to which you want good answers when you start a change process. Motivation & Behavior You can describe motivation as the driving force behind your desire to do things differently, to change, to lose weight. Actually to change your behavior. Behavior is the link between wanting and doing. For many, it is the weak link. So it's not so much about your abilities or planning goals but it's about your daily actions or a change succeeds. Attention to HOW instead of WHAT There is a lot of advice about what you should manage or change. You will find advice about relationships, weight loss, healthier living, nutrition, and so on. The behavior that you must show is clear. You probably really want it. But then how exactly you should do that. That is not so clear. You have all the advice on the table for you. How do you continue now? For most, that remains a black box. Now do 'just'. As psychologist Ben Tiggelaar also describes in his booklet Dreaming Daring: Many books are full of open door advice: " It's a matter of perseverance and perseverance." Or floaty talks like: "Listen to the voice of your soul." I persevered and eavesdropped a lot but never had the impression that it helped much. Very frustrating. That is why The BootClub pays a lot of attention to the most difficult pillar of lifestyle change: the bundling of behavior, mindset and motivation, expressed under the 'mindset' pillar. Little good info You will find little good information about behavioral change on the internet. That is partly because it is not a simple matter you need a certain basic level to learn about it and share it, it requires somewhat conceptual thinking. Everyone can come up with ten tips about losing weight, but making a well-founded plan for behavioral change that will hold your motivation requires more. mindset is at all a poor child when it comes to losing weight and lifestyle. Below are eight lessons that you can start to maintain your motivation during weight loss. I try to keep it simple. But hey, mindset and everything that comes with it is not easy, otherwise you would not have ended up on this page. I am ahead of things: just start with the first lesson. We cannot make it easier, but it is easier to understand and more manageable :). Lesson 1: Remember these 4 myths • Change is easy. We all want it to be easy, but unfortunately the reality is different. Most intentions die fairly quickly after the opening of the new year. It is all about what to do if the first spurt of ideas, enthusiasm and possibly guidance are lost. Because if a few solid setbacks follow at work (a reorganization) or in private (disagreement with a close relationship), you will soon find a foolproof recipe for relapse behavior. • Nothing works, I tried everything Perhaps you think of certain tools and techniques that you will find on this website: yes, but I have already tried that. The key question is not whether you have tried anything. The key question is whether you have applied the technique at the right time and whether you have applied the technique often enough. It is a matter of timing and frequency. • People don't really change. The studies that form the basis of these articles (see also accountability) demonstrate it. More than thousands of individuals have successfully changed. That's a fact. What you often do not see on the sidelines is that the road has mostly gone with bumps. Relapse is most likely part of the change process and it can take years for your unwanted behavior to leave you behind. • It's all about willpower It may surprise you that the biggest misunderstanding of people who want to change is that they value willpower far too high. While willpower is important, but far from enough is not enough, just look at how it is with willpower as part of the mental aspect of losing weight . You can better retain your motivation with your slimming intentions with that knowledge. Lesson 2: Link between wanting and doing: Behavior I also mentioned it at the introduction. Our behavior is the weak link between what you want (target weight, different lifestyle, healthier eating, being more assertive, quitting smoking) and what you get or do. Behavior is all our actions that we show. So what you actually do. Think about how you drive your car (driving behavior), how you interact with other people you encounter (social or perhaps antisocial behavior), or how often and what you put in your mouth (eating behavior). A large part of your behavior is formed by the direct stimulus that follows. If that is positive and gives you a good feeling ('pleasure' or 'comfort'), you have a greater chance of displaying that behavior again. If that is a negative incentive and immediately leads to an unpleasant feeling, ('pain or discomfort) that behavior will probably not occur. Following this pain or pleasure experience, there is (pleasure) or no (pain) link in our brain. If the incentive occurs again in the future, the behavior will follow automatically. Example: if you brake fairly late for the traffic light, and you experience that as a feeling of nice active driving, there is a good chance that you will automatically have a brake applied at a given moment as soon as you encounter a traffic light (stimulus). For a strong link, the pain or pleasure experience must immediately follow the stimulus (seconds), so a few hours or days later is insufficient. That only creates a very weak bond. If you have eaten two weeks less and lost as a result, that will not lead to a strong link. You are very aware of cause and effect, but it is too difficult for your brain. This 'rewarding' and 'punishing' is also very subtle. All in all, your behavior has been consciously and unconsciously conditioned over the years by everything you have experienced so far. If you are overweight, this is probably due to your eating and sports behavior. Lesson 3: There is conscious and unconscious behavior Most psychologists agree that there are two types of behavior: conscious, planned, behavior, and unconscious , automatic, behavior. The estimate is that no less than 90% of our behavior is unconscious. So we display that behavior without realizing it. That's quite a lot. It is not necessarily wrong that we do so much on autopilot. Life becomes rather complex if we should do everything consciously. Take driving as an example. Maybe you can still remember yourself when you had driving lessons? Do you remember the first time you drove onto the highway. Men, that was exciting and fast! After the driving lessons you were probably quite exhausted because you needed so much attention (awareness!) To drive around safely in the car. If you have been driving around for a while, you will probably experience it differently now. We even ride such a large part on autopilot that we often pass entire sections without realizing it. You daydream a bit and you are 30 or 50 kilometers away. To change unconscious behavior you will have to get it above the water level. You must consciously pay attention to it. Did you know that one of the primary roles of a coach is to promote your awareness? Not so surprising when you see that most of your behavior is 'under water'. More awareness also helps you live a better life . Unconscious beliefs: Which glasses do you wear A large part of your behavior comes from your views on and views of the world. The way you look at the world has been shaped by years of conditioning. Because of what happened in your youth, through experiences with your parents, at school, during training and or at work. Experiences that you have gained in good and bad times. All these experiences lead you to form an image about the world. You have created glasses that look into the world. These glasses are based on unconscious beliefs. Unconscious beliefs lead to automatic behavior. Behavior that you might want to prevent. Example Consider, for example, the belief that healthy eating is not tasty. If you really think that, then you can start all kinds of waste plans with great enthusiasm, your motivation for losing weight will probably drop if things go wrong. Every time you prepare healthy food, you see food that you don't like. You can only keep that up for a limited time. The proverbial glasses that you wear, you work against. Your (unconscious) opinion slows you down to achieve your goal and to retain your motivation when losing weight. Lesson 4: Losing hurts, so change (also a bit) In 1981, the following statement was presented to 152 participants . “The government is preparing for the outbreak of an unusual serious illness that is expected to cause 600 deaths. There are two solutions A and B: Solution A will save 200 people With solution B there is 1/3 chance that 600 people will be saved and 2/3 chance that no one will be saved. Which solution would you choose? In a second scenario this question was asked again and you could choose between options C and D: With solution C, 400 people will lose their lives With solution D there is 1/3 chance that no one will die and 2/3 chance that 600 people will die. Which solution would you choose now? " If you answer, just like around 75% of the respondents, you choose solution A for the first question and solution D for the second scenario. The outcomes of solution A and C or B and D are identical. Yet it appears that the perception of loss weighs enormously. That is why you probably choose to save people (A) and for the second question you have the certainty not to lose 400 people (so option D). This special phenomenon is also called loss aversion. We put a lot more effort into not losing something while we don't put in much effort to earn anything (even though it is the same). You are probably willing to work much harder to keep your current home with a mortgage and not have to go back to a small student room than you are willing to work hard to own a triple-sized home as you now have. Loss aversion therefore also applies to behavior. You can have a lot of motivation to lose weight, you will have to lose old eating habits. Although you may know that you should not eat that chocolate bar or peanut butter jar, it still gives a nice, comfortable and familiar feeling at the time of doing so. You can better retain your motivation for losing weight if you identify this kind of unwanted but pleasant behavior. Loss of familiarity makes you uncertain, since the future does not seem as certain as before. It is good to be aware of this feeling of loss, because then you can try to stand above it. If you discover that you are insecure because you will lose old familiar behavior, you can pay more attention to your self-confidence. Self-confidence is always a good basis for success. In summary : People have an aversion to loss Responsible weight loss means change and that goes together with the loss of unhealthy old behavior You are not your old behavior: accept that you can say goodbye to old behavior. Work on your self-confidence if you notice that you suffer a lot from loss aversion. Lesson 5: How your behavior changes (and retains motivation) Researchers in America have examined thousands of people. These were people with behavioral change goals such as quitting smoking or losing weight. All of these people ultimately achieved their goals successfully. Researchers found that all of these people go through phases in their change process. These are also the Stages Of Change or phases of change of three men who are professors, psychologists and researchers: James O. Prochaska, John C. Norcross and Carlo C. Diclemente. The phases or steps are as follows: step or phase 1 the denial phase (I have no problem at all) step or phase 2: the change in consideration (maybe it's time for a change) step or phase 3: the preparation phase (how am I going to do it) step or phase 4: the action phase (implement those plans): step or phase 5: maintenance phase (keep the changes). Actually, there is a sixth step or phase, the termination phase, but those rarely reach change agents. A form of maintenance also remains necessary years after the change. The researchers also found that everyone can ultimately be a successful self-changer. You can keep your motivation on sufficient arrow during the entire change process of losing weight or lifestyle change. It is not easy, but with the right tools and techniques you greatly increase your chances. If you want to change your lifestyle, you also go through those phases. Everyone goes through it at their own pace. That rate probably varies from one week to six months per phase, while the maintenance phase can take years. During each phase there are certain tools that you can pay attention to in order to work towards the next phase in a sensible way. There are many techniques in the land of change. Originally, you will be offered these types of techniques in counseling sessions by therapists and psychologists. These techniques are also ideal for 'healthy' people to implement desired changes in your lifestyle and behavior. You can also see this in the guidance and development of top managers in the business world. The handy thing about the techniques from the Stages of Change is that it somewhat separates the wheat from the chaff and supports an integrated approach. So not only the acupuncture X, or the method Y that will be your solution, but an integral approach where you can influence various aspects of your life in order to go through a steady but lasting change step by step. And maybe acupuncture X or method Y fits very well in your personal plan. Lesson 6: For the dropout: What kind of eater are you? Did you know that there are three types of eaters? The psychologist and professor Tatjana van Strien, who is well-known in the Netherlands, has recognized on the basis of various studies that eaters have certain preferences. As soon as characteristic circumstances occur, these eaters quickly fall into undesirable behavior. Everyone will recognize themselves in certain sizes in all three types, but you probably have a clear preference. The investigations of Miss Tatjana enjoy great support. She made the Dutch Eating Behavior Questionnaire (NVE) in 1985 and is not only recognized in the Netherlands. It is a questionnaire that is used worldwide under the name of Dutch Eating Behavior Questionnaire (DEBQ). You can see from the questionnaire what type of eater you are: Type 1: The emo-eater . Eat full of sadness. Stress leads to overeating. Type 2: The external eater : eat when there is food. External incentives lead to overeating. Type 3: The liner , also called the yo-yo person. By knowing what type of eater you are, you can better protect yourself against overeating. With that protection you can better retain your motivation to lose weight. If you are an emo-eater, for example, the prerequisite for the success of your waste attempt is insight into the psychological background of eating problems that have led to obesity. The most important thing you can learn by determining with the NVE what kind of eater you are is whether following a traditional calorie-restricted diet has a chance of success or whether you should pay more attention to behavior. Lesson 7: Do you want or do you choose? How proactive are you .. You can ask yourself: do I want to change? Or Do I choose to change? You choose your change and you choose not to do other things. You choose to say no more often, you choose your goals. See and feel how the question shifts to another level? When we talk about wanting , it soon looks like ' I want, I want, I want'. It is almost an expression of passivity. I want ... and now it must all happen by itself. It also activates more the abstract part of your brain. With a magic staff, the world is different at once. Nope. While if you are talking about choosing, then you are talking about being the initiator. Make your own choices and set your own priorities. Leave one for the other because you choose to do so, because you are proactive. The first characteristic of effective leadership [5]. For example, you choose to apply techniques from the phases of change because you know that you will be able to better retain your motivation during and after losing weight. Extremely powerful. Occasionally ask yourself: what do I choose? Do I really consciously choose that? Another tip if you show a lot of procrastination. At Defense there was a typical position that regularly came up when coaching men and women. Not making a choice or making a decision is also a choice, but often not the right one. And it's true, choosing takes effort. Lesson 8: You must leave your comfort zone If you avoid new situations, stick to undesirable behavior and avoid everything that is new, you stay in your comfort zone too much. If you really want to stay motivated to lose weight or change, then you have to move forward with your goals. That means that you occasionally have to close your eyes and jump into the deep. I don't need to explain this further because the video below explains fantastic what I mean by that🙂