For a long time, I've been struggling to put into words exactly what I'm feeling - but I think up there in the title is my best summary and how I feel about it.
For a long, long time I've struggled with my diet. I'm 27(m) now and have been eating very in a very unhealthy way since I was... about 15.
It used to not be as bad - up until about 21 I might get a slice of pizza, chips and pop or equivalent every day. But in the last 6 years it's much worse. With my own income comes the ability to spend more money. I typically will eat fast food (McDonalds burger, large fry and soda) and a whole box of donuts/cookies every day, or that equivalent.
Right now I'm staying at my parents place while I switch careers. I was hoping by coming home they could help keep me accountable by only buying healthy foods. They did, and even have helped me set up a diet, but in secret I can't stop myself from sneaking out at least once every other day and indulging in a large amount of junk food.
I'm just so tired. For the last 10 years being thin is the only thing I've really wanted, but what I want as a person clashes with my addiction to sugar and loses every time.
This all brings me to the above (the title). It's honestly the best way I can put it - if it's approaching 6pm or so, and I've ate healthy all day, I feel like subconsciously I think to myself "What was the point in this day if I don't get to eat something good? Why did I even wake up in the morning?"
I'm not depressed or anything, I don't feel sad and I have other hobbies like video games and DND, but it wouldn't matter even if I was since I can't afford therapy (again, between careers).
If anyone has any advice, I would heavily appreciate it.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/wyeiwm/i_feel_like_if_i_dont_eat_junk_food_the_day_is/
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