Having a bad day trying to grapple with health stuff involving body, weight, and exercise, and feeling very discouraged. I just need to cry about this a little, because I don’t have anyone to talk to. I know BMI is bunk, but I’m using it here because it’s sacred to the health providers who have treated me my entire life.
As a kid I was underweight, but always had a protruding stomach. I also had an undiagnosed kidney deformity and cysts. My dad, normal BMI was diagnosed with diabetes, which is common on his side of the family.
I was about 19 when I had a surgery to repair the kidney, and afterwards my blood pressure went up sharply and I was diagnosed as hypertensive. At this time my weight was normal, a BMI of 19. But still apple shaped. Renal bloodwork and renal arteries were normal, but it was assumed to be related to my kidney issue. I’ve been treating it with blood pressure meds ever since. Told to avoid sodium and exercise. Gave that a solid college try for a few years only to find it had zero impact on my blood pressure. I probably could have done more, but it felt so fruitless.
Shortly after I was put on Paxil and got into a relationship and the two combined led to me gaining about 30 lbs. my BMI was teetering between high normal and low overweight for years. Over the next 10 years occasionally my fasting glucose would be in the pre diabetic range, but doctors weren’t concerned. One doctor did comment that my waist to hip ratio was bad and I should work on it. I lost weight, and the ratio only became more imbalanced. I took fitness classes and took on my physically demanding jobs to try and improve my fitness and body type with no change to vitals or ratios.
Later I decided to have a child and failed my glucose tolerance test in pregnancy, diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I had to drastically change my diet, spend hours analyzing nutritional labels, meal prepping, shopping, cooking, and get repetitive with foods to achieve the carb count necessary for baby, but not go over sugar levels. The recommended meals on the handouts they gave me spiked me, so I had to be meticulous and obsess over macros and figure out what things I could eat. I struggled a lot to keep from being keto, because baby needs carbs. My extreme effort led to not needing meds and lost weight in my third trimester. My doctors were delighted. All in all I gained about 30 pounds in pregnancy. My baby was of normal weight.
Afterwards I didn’t do the glucose screening again because…. I kind of just knew. I wasn’t going to be able to go as hard with my dietary restriction and management as I did before with a newborn in tow. I did periodically check my blood sugar with my own equipment in the morning and after meals (diabetes approved or not) and it always fell into the pre-diabetic range. Later on, almost a year later in October, blood work confirmed elevated fasting levels and naturally my doctor told me to reduce carbs a little bit, but mostly to lose weight. So I did. I lost the weight from pregnancy and then some, 35 lbs all together, in about 5 months.
Then I plateaued, but I was happy to be in a “normal” range even if just barely and felt good. I thought I was exercising (job had me moving, blood pumping, and on my feet all day, plus the addition of the kiddo I was hauling around everywhere). Bloodwork that March was great, doctors complimenting me on my great cholesterol. Still though, fasting glucose is elevated, blood pressure is high, and waist is only slightly smaller than my hips.
Now today, I sit here - up 5 lbs from then (I’m a 5’7 woman at ~158lbs), but trying hard to keep a reasonably balanced diet and get up and moving every day. I’m looking at new bloodwork, and once again the fasting glucose is high (I didn’t actually think losing 30 lbs would change that, but was hoping maybe it would) and my once perfect triglycerides that have never been an issue are double what they were 5 months ago and now at an abnormal level.
I know on Monday I’m going to talk to my doctor and be told to exercise and lose weight. Cut sodium, cut carbs, cut fats. I know my waistline is the most important thing and I have to try really, really hard to reduce that and travel farther and farther into the green on the BMI chart before any of my efforts will be acknowledged. I know even if I do, there’s a chance it will have negligible impact on my health. Until my health issues finally do me in - it will always come down to adding “just 30 more minutes of walking every day” and eliminating more things from my diet until there’s nothing left.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/wzikip/health_issues_and_the_ever_present_advice_to_lose/
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